hey......sorry i haven't been very active on deviantART lately, i've been really busy. but i do have some drawings ready for upload. the best part? this time i'll be using a scanner. (as soon as my annoying cousin gets off the computer that is T.T) i'm also working on a bunch of other works too. one of which(when i can find the time ^_^'is a comic. a comic based on one of my pieces of work. it started with a single comment. and sparked into an idea. oh and before i forget, thanks Johny-12 for the idea and offering to help me on it. my other works, (that are ready but unloaded) include a sonamy (gotta love it ) and one awesome super sonic. it'll take me a while, but i should finish them. now, moving on to the comic. there's kinda a problem.......whenever i start on a comic, at least halfway through, i get kinda...impatient. i tend to rush then, in an effort to get it finished faster. this poses a problem. so i'll be working in a different time frame then i used to, in order to get it done more efficiently. now, aside from all that, a lots been going on in my life. where to start......how about with the girl of my dreams. let me tell you a little story. when i was in about...oh, i'd say about kindergarten, i met this girl. i really liked her.......then in first grade (unknowingly to me of course X( ) she had a crush on me. then some stuff happened, and lets just say.....she went home crying. when her mom told me, i felt like....well, i felt so stupid, and mad at myself. i went home crying after that.........after that, things were never the same between us.......we talked a lot less.......we saw a lot less of each other.....heck we barely made eye contact after that day.....and for about 8 years, i went on with my life, living in guilt and depression. secretly though.....on the outside, i was as happy as could be. on the inside though.......i was empty, torn apart and broken..........i hated myself all those years for what i did to her.....and to be honest, it wasn't entirely my fault. my *ahem* 'friend' tricked me into making her cry. i felt so stupid......and after 5th grade, she moved, and went to the other middle school...... i saw her only twice after that. when i was in the football parade. the first time, i waved, she waved, and that was it. the second time........i saw her, and froze up. all i could do was duck down...in shame and fear......i never saw her after that.......ever. then i moved away from michigan. i felt this would be good for me. maybe it would help me escape my horrid past. but i was wrong.....everywhere i went...i saw her face.......almost haunting me......so i started to search for her on myspace, facebook, the likes. but i never found her. nope. she found me.at first i couldnt believe it was her. but something (this may sound corny but its all true.)in my heart told me it was her. an that it was. but she had a boyfriend.....one day i told her all about how i was sorry for what i did back in first grade....and as it turns out, she had forgotten all about it.we started to get closer and closer. then she and her boyfriend broke up. i felt horrible for her......the worst part is, i couldnt do anything to help her...... i mean what could i do but comfort her? i was in another state. we started getting even closer though.....i still didn't have the courage to tell her though.....i was just to afraid of what might happen....my friends here in kentucky all tried to comfort me....and it worked! i had finally gotten the courage i desperately needed. but.....just as i was about to tell her how i felt.......i looked at her facebook.....and do you know what it said? 'in a relationship'. she had a new boyfriend...........at this point i just stared......at the words as they burned into my brain. i then shut down my laptop......and cried myself to sleep. its been a while since that day. shes still going out with someone else, but all my friends tell me she still likes me. i dont know though......we HAVE been flirting alot.....maybe she does, but maybe she doesnt......shes everything to me. and.....i think i love her. i feel differently about her than i've ever felt before. she brightens my day.....she makes me smile......when im pissed off, deppressed, or even scared.....just thinking of her, makes me feel so happy......if any of you who bothered to read all of this are wondering why i even thought to put this down......its because i need help. i dont know what to do.......i just need some advice. and to those of you who do offer advice.......thank you.




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OH! i almost forgot........you guys are never gonna guess whats in like 11 days...........my birthday! ah......i remember when i was a kid, id always look forward to my birthday. but with all this stuff going on in my life, i nearly forgot!